~Beauty is captured within the heart~
This is Toni a Welsh Corgi. She was also known as Toni Bologna, Little lady, Beautiful, Robbie, Young dove, Bobby and the Kid.
I purchased Toni two days in 2009 after my dog Milo passed.
The owners were showing me all other kind of dogs but she always stuck out to me. I can remember that day as clear as anything. She looked smart. She looked kind and she looked like she had great character as well as a great heart.
Toni had all these traits and more. She became my best friend instantly. She followed me everywhere, trying to herd us all over even as a puppy. It was her breed. They are from Whales and herd cattle.
Toni did not have a single bad bone in her body. Everyone, I mean everyone loved her. She had a genuine heart of gold. She was a very sensitive yet smart dog who was filled with only love, kindness and beauty inside and out.
My father had passed away on June 27, 2015. It was the hardest 260 days spent with him in various hospitals and facilities. Toni was his very best friend as well. They loved each other beyond anything I ever seen and witnessed. Three days prior to my fathers first Anniversary in Heaven I had to put Toni to sleep. It actually was the hardest thing I ever had to do in my life. With my other dogs, Milo & Sam they were sick for quite a while, not Toni. so this was a huge shock.
I took Toni to the vet in April to have her nails trimmed and he did the random blood work. He called me a few days later concerned about her BUN levels being so high and wanted to come back in for a check up. I returned to the vet and he said Toni just was diagnosed with high blood pressure. She had been stressed the entire time my father was not home and hospitalized. She was placed on blood pressure medicine and I went back for checkups and they said she was actually better. She was active and I took her everyday to the park even up until four days that she had passed. She stopped eating the Friday before Fathers Day and ate very little. She showed no signs at all of pain or lost weight, nothing. She drank water and not even a lot to indicate any kidney disease. She ran and was jumping off the couch. I took her on Monday and the vet gave her a shot stating it would just calm her down and nothing to worry about, being she was so active, had not lost weight and stated perhaps she had blocked mucus in her throat. She was better after the shot and ate a little. On Tuesday she still would not eat. I called him back and he said he would give me the pill form of the shot and just sit and wait that he thought the mucus was the issue and that she looked healthy and no weight loss.
On Wednesday she still did not eat and was not acting like herself. I took her in the morning and he checked her blood work and did another test. He said she needed to be hospitalized there a few days to have him flush the toxins out of her kidneys. He said her BUN counts were very high. I left her there and visited her twice a day. She seemed the first day to be more active and looked before and the vet was even optimistic. I brought her boiled chicken and water and she ate it all up and he was so happy as well. On Thursday when I visited her she looked very weak. I explained to him that she has separation issues and is very sensitive. The staff at this Vet and the Vets I knew from Milo. They are like my family there. He was still optimistic that by Friday after having the IV fluids flushing through her she would be fine.
On Friday, June 25, 2016 in the morning I got there the vet told me she was doing real bad and filling up with fluid. He told me her kidneys were shutting down. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It was all so surreal.
She had been so healthy and showed no signs of Kidney disease at all. I went in the back to see her and she could barely lift her head. The vet said he was going to try to increase the IV fluids. They placed her with me in another room and I sat with her. She was breathing heavy and could barely walk. They placed her on a fuzzy blanket and it just progressed right there in front of my eyes. Her coloring looked bad, her tongue was turning blue and my best friend I ever had the most love and needed in my life was dying. I held her and washed her face and told her it would be ok. They gave her a shot to calm down but she was filling up with fluid. My heart was broken in two. She had just turned seven years old on May 20, 2016. How could this be I thought?
All I could think of was how this could not be happening especially three days prior to the one year of my father's passing. It was all too much for me. I held her and placed a picture I had in my purse of my Dad. I kissed her so many times and truly never cried so hard in my entire life that I can recall. This was all so sudden. The vet said he could try more IV's. I cried so hard wishing that would help. But in my heart and her tongue turning blue I would not put her through that. I asked him if she was suffering now, he shook he put his head down and whispered, "Yes."
I then knew my decision had to be to let my little lady run free in the sunflowers and I knew my Dad would meet her. I held her head the entire time telling her she would see Gramps soon and to run through the fields as fast as she could. I told her how much I loved her and I was the luckiest lady in the world to have such a beautiful friend. I held her and sang "Goodnight Sweetheart Goodnight". I always played that for her every single night doing work on my laptop but having that song play in the background, she loved that song.
I even whistled it in her ear with the strongest tears I had and she licked me one last time on the mouth and the shot was given and she passed away within a minute.
Unlike Milo & Sam who I love until this day with all my heart I ran out of the room when I had to put them down and could not handle it. With Toni I stayed with her after her passing and cradled her for an hour in my arms. I felt like my heart was ripped completely out of my chest and cannot describe the shock I felt. I am still kind of in a state of shock now. She was truly a beautiful and big part of my life. I will forever miss her. The staff were crying as well. They kept sitting with me and holding me. I was so blessed to have such caring people there with me. And even more blessed to have the best looking, kindest friend in the world even if it was only seven years.
I would do it all over again tomorrow. I would buy her again,even if it I knew it would last only seven years. For now my two very best friends are reunited. What a vision to see that reunion!
I love you Toni Bologna! Your the best girl I ever knew and will always be my best friend. I love you more than you know!
Rest now my friend and enjoy! You will only grow more in more heart when it mends.
(Please excuse me if I do not answer back if anyone writes comments for a while, this is a big step for me to even begin to create this memorial. I am still in shock.)
Thanks for understanding!
~Good friends are hard to find; hard to leave and impossible to forget
~I Love you little Lady!
Bless you always! Run free now!
Why was I so lucky to have such great little lady!